Leap of Faith

About a year ago, I turned in my three weeks’ resignation letter to start completely new. New hospital. New coworkers. New surgeons. Being the “new” person. Completing dozens of on-boarding computer modules. Not knowing where anything is. Learning new policies and procedures. And especially – a new patient population. Pediatrics. I have always loved interacting with kids and admired how resilient they are.

Leading up to my decision of leaving my prior job, I noticed how my work life was “eating” me up inside. Some nights, after my shift I would get in my car and start sobbing. I would work 16 hour shifts, be on call for the next 8 hours, and then wake up to do it all over again. I was yelled at and talked down to. As a new grad nurse, it was very hard to gain confidence in a hostile environment. However, it only reaffirmed my promise to my patients – to fight for what is right for them. I am so thankful to have coworkers I could always rely on ❤ To be honest, they were the only reason I remained sane. 

I realized I wasn’t happy. I dreaded swiping my badge in and out. I couldn’t let go of work when I was at home. The attitude I had about work only projected onto my loved ones at home. I questioned the value of my work a lot. As an operating room nurse, my top priority is to keep the patient safe and to be their advocate. However, my work felt like it was about pleasing surgeons and getting their cases done on time – when my time didn’t feel appreciated. I felt like my passion for patient advocacy and safety was diminishing and it truly scared me. I was officially burnt out.

“Burnout can lead to dulled emotions and detachment. It strongly affects the emotions and undermines motivation, leaving a sense of hopelessness. For those experiencing burnout, every day is a bad day.” – Help Guide

So, I took a chance. I applied to my dream job to not only work with kids, but to work at Seattle Children’s Hospital. I’ve only dreamed of working closely with kids and their families and to work for an organization that has done wonders for hundreds of families across the northwest. I knew it would be a difficult job having to see kids in a vulnerable state, but I have always felt a calling in being a part of their journey towards living a carefree life, as they should.

April will be my official one year job anniversary at Seattle Children’s Hospital! It is crazy how fast time goes by and how work doesn’t seem like “work” when you adore what you do. During my first few days of orientation, I received an e-compliment (an electronic way to give compliments to staff) from a surgeon and how he appreciated the work we did to get all of his cases done. That was the first time I was thanked for my work. It was something so little, but it was a huge sign to me that reassured my leap of faith wasn’t a mistake. It was a start to new beginnings.

If you are not happy, change something. If your time and talents go unnoticed to someone, find people that will appreciate what you have to offer. Make your life more than what it currently is. Aspire to do more. Create goals. Achieve new heights. You are capable of being something greater than you think you are!

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